Getting over getting over you... not so easy

New Years Eve said goodbye to the mistakes and heartbreaks of last year but looking back at that night, started 2010 with one big regret. I didn't know him, I still don't really. I met him at a bus stop as we were leaving the club. He made me laugh and I called him names. An instant connection of course. We IM'd for weeks, every night. At our best we would talk for 8 hours straight. Our sense of humour mirrored each others. I feel like I know him, I like him for him. He liked me for me. I took it too slowly. It faded. We don't talk so much these days. It's a shame.

Every time I hit another dead end I think back to him. The one I thought for so long was "the one". He's gone. I sometimes think I should knock on his door out of the blue, throw my arms around him, tell him I love him, I've always loved him and he'll wipe away the single tear falling down my cheek and tell me he's missed me and realises he can't live without me...
I won't do that. Because for the little part of me that knows I could love him again, the rest of me is remembering how difficult it was to get to where I am now. I'm over the devastation of losing him. I've come out of that black hole of heartache. And, though I can still feel that longing for him sometimes, the fact that I can feel, well, anything, for somebody else, is somewhat comforting.